Sunday, September 24, 2006

The Honey Bear

Every Rosh Hashona, we go to the store and buy honey. Every Rosh Hoshona night, I always find myself in the company of a little, yellowish bear. For some reason, the plastic containers that honey is put in are almost always shaped like bears.
But why are they shaped like bears? Well, bears like honey, people tell me. But two things: first off, bears kill a lot of bees and drive the rest out of the hive, plus kill alot of larvae when they do it, which can sometimes mean less honey is gathered, thus less honey is collected from the hive. So, bears are actually the enemy of honey.
Additionally, if the bears like to eat honey, that means less honey for us. Why would they make the containers shaped like bears if bears make them lose money by eating honey?
Well, I've come to the conclusion that this plus all the other reasons bears hurt business and kill people and other stuff, you'd say that bears don't help anybody and thus be cruel to any bear you come across. The people in the honey in the honey business like bears and want to protect them, so they shape honey containers like cute, cuddly bears as if to apoligize for the bears taking your honey, and to say that bears are cute and nice.
So the bottom line is honey containers are shaped like bears becuase they want you to have mercy on bears.

6 comments:

Chaikers said...

uh...i think u are missing the whole point to the rosh hashona meall...but w/e floats ur boat!

outofAMMO said...

those bears never stop smiling. Its freaky.



and isn't it whatever floats your goat?

Chaikers said...

...cuz that makes sense...

outofAMMO said...

well, it did...till now...

Yaakova said...

I guess you're not a big fan of Winnie the Pooh!

outofAMMO said...

He's destroying society.