Bored

yup.

Close Encounters

The day started out normal. Woke up, davened, ate, did my daily routine. Nothing out of the ordinary. Mom wanted me to come with her on a run to the door store. Sounded like a low risk mission. I didn't expect any trouble.
When we entered the store i noticed two things.
1) countless ripped up catnips littering the floor
2) a brown-white cat chewing on one.
Oh, i thought. A cat. That's nice. Back to work. Little did I know the cat took a much bigger interest in me.
Or rather, my shoelaces.
After consulting the store attendant, Mom and I moved to the counter to make some last minute arrangments. As we stood talking, i noticed the slink closer and closer. It stealthily crawled up to me, looked at my shoe, and started licking it.
um. whatever. I didn't find anything wrong with this.
Then it's gaze shifted up the laces on my shoe. It studied them for a while, then lashed out with its claws. they unknotted and fell to the floor. The cat looked at them again, now untangled, and decided that one of them was a mouse tail. It backed up and fell into a crouch.
That cant be good, I thought.
The cat pounced.
At around this point Mom and the attendant noticed, and the attendant started shouting at the cat. It didn't listen. The cat came down claws first, grabbing and tearing at the laces, gnawing and trying to bite a peice off. The attendant realized she had to take action before the cat killed me. She took a peice of paper and shook it.
The cat immiedtietly bounded off, covering half the room in a flash, and stood in a corner, unperturbed.
We wasted no time leaving (like another ten minutes). I came very close there.
Too close.

take this, fudge!

i just read fudge's blog. She was saying how anxious she was because she didn't know what she was going to do with her life. And then in her comments, she got...
sympathy?
people with the same problem??
i have decided it is high time i share my knowledge with you people before even more of you decide you dont know what to do with your life. Listen up, fudge.


LIVING LIFE
living life is easy! As long as you dont think about it, all you have to do is follow my simple instructions to be happy forever! and it wouldn't hurt to pay me either!

step 1.
drop whatever you're doing right now and
well well well. you're still here aren't you? I think we lost all the stupid people on the first line.
anyway, go to the nearest technology place you can find and ask to see the spider exhibit.

step 2.
wait for the the radioactive one to break free from its cage and then quickly thrust out your hand. If you have any luck (so Fudge might need help) you'll get bitten. this is where the fun begins.

step 3.
fall into a deep deep sleep (on the floor if you like) which should be filled with visions of DNA strands being changed. red and blue should be the predominant colors in the dream.

step 4.
get a freind to wake you up.

step 5.
now your transformation should be complete. check out your web shooting abilites and your newfound wall climbing expertise. When you have become a master of your new spider powers, move to seattle.

step 6.
when the army of spidermen is assembled in seattle, move to Milwaukee and await my orders.

okay?

might as well post, he grumbled

i've spent enough time commenting on other people blogs and not updating mine. well enough's enoguh! all that is about to change. because look out world, i am posting.

yup.

i am fulfilled.